Just Engaged to be Married? What to do First?

If you are just engaged, like just right now. Enjoy it! If you are of sound mind and want to dive straight in, don’t let me stop you (have fun). but if you are just so excited and beginning to trapes through articles, guides and lists. It is ok to step back and take a moment. Enjoy the first moments of being Engaged, this part of the experience will not be revisited so absorb the well wishes, the feeling you have about saying yes. The bliss.

Throughout, remember who you are, what you enjoy, what you truly want and communicate!

1. Engagement Announcement and Celebrations.

This could be a mini planning experience itself. Briefly, decide who you are telling and how you are telling them. There tends to be a few gatherings on various scales, enjoy these moments and remember you don’t have to have an answer to everything just now. If you are going bigger formal celebration, you can have a specific guest list or more open (lossy goosy) invite. Don’t think because someone comes to an engagement party you must invite them to the Wedding down the road. Rules are dead so make it your own. Remember be yourself, go as little or as big as you want.

2. What do you know about Weddings? What do you really want?

There is no hard and fast rule over what is a must be done first. Repeatedly you will see Book a Venue as number 1 on lists. This is the biggest load of horse… Depending on your knowledge and experience of weddings, your priority may be completely different. You may have a must have Band, must have City, must have Date. Whatever it is, that is a priority that will influence other selections. A venue may be your priority!

You may absolutely know nothing about weddings and have no preconceived opinions. Great! Happy exploring. Do take in other peoples information they want to share but make you own call and don’t let someone hijack your wedding. Unless, you want someone to take control because you don’t what the fuss. Bottom line be yourself, know what makes you happy.

So, what is the action here: list what is important to you, contact or research what is a priority to you. Contact who needs to be contacted and the ball begins to roll.

Example: contact your must have photographer to check availability for a certain month/season. They are available! Do they recommend any venues in a certain location (because I have no knowledge of options)? Now the ball is rolling and I am close to narrowing down a date that will suit my venue and photographer. I can know visit a few venues and get a few for the type I like.

3. Vendors book out!

Suppliers for weddings book out and you may well be disappointed if you leave things go to long. Make up and Hair notoriously book up. If you want the whole shebang on your wedding day work through all types of suppliers, you want and research the best within your budget. If you are not too plussed. Don’t stress the suppliers are endless and if you are easy going, no stress to you.

Fairs, shows, expos are helpful if you have exhausted online. It is ice to meet humans face to face (sometimes).

4. Bridal Party

This might be already nailed down in your head. To a great extent you can do this straight off the abt or whenever the time is right. No rules, no obligations. This is your wedding. Be kind if you need to be, be straight with people if that is required. One thing I will highlight is there is no absolute requirement have balanced sides. Many a grooms has said I have a gang of 6 mates I am not leaving any of them out, with the bride only having 2 or 3 bridesmaids. Versa vice, a groom may only want a Bestman to a gaggle of gals on the opposite side.

5. Save the Date

This is important and I have seen some bad advice on timelines for Save the Dates. There is absolutely no hard and fast rule. Once you have your Date and Location you can send a Save the Date. It allows people travelling distance to plan and those with restrictive work schedules to adjust. Don’t sit on them too long.

Naturally invites will follow in due course.

6. Budget

Whatever your source of funds, know your limits and what you value. Do not presume funds will magic from somewhere or that your gifts will cover the X, Y or Z. Be realistic, try not put money worries in the mix of planning, doing and enjoying.

7. Many things to consider

You have started well done! There are many things to consider and they will all happen in due course. You can jump in and out of wedding planning, manage your time and give yourself breaks. Know when things are getting too much or when you are not enjoying the process.

Where to next?

Budget (target and buffer), Date and Season, Venue, Food and Drink, Photographer, Videographer, Hairstylists, Makeup Artist, Ceremony, Band and DJ, Music, Entertainment (non-music), Guest List, Bridal Party, Invites and stationary, Rings , Flowers, Décor, Wedding Dress and accessories, Bridesmaids Dresses and accessories, Groomsmen Suits and accessories, Gifts, Transport, Honeymoon, Days building up to and after , Get Married!